The musings from Hotcut

Jim Brauer. He can be a bit slapstick but for the most part he is darn funny. One of my favorite bits below…

This is just amazing if it is indeed real. Chimp with a photographic memory?

Did you ever notice how people coming off a plane into the terminal have this look on their face that says “That’s right. I just flew in the air to get here. It’s an honor for all of you…really.” What is the deal with that? I purposely make sure that when I am coming into the terminal I look as inconspicuos as possible. We all went through the same humiliating strip search at security, who you fooling?

I found this list out on the internets today. Not bad. It’s titled “Universal Truths”. Although some are kind of odd most on the list are pretty darn accurate. You can tell it was written by a British chap. Don’t let the crazy way they refer to French Fries throw you off! Credit goes to boreme.com.

1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
4) You’ve never quite sure whether it’s ok to eat green crisps.
5) Everyone who grew up in the 80’s has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.
6) Reading when you’re drunk is horrible.
7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
8) You’re never quite sure whether it’s against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the
first given opportunity.
19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!
22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
24) You never ever run out of salt.
25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
26) You can’t respect a man who carries a dog.
27) There’s no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you’ve got your hand or head stuck in something.
28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
31) People who don’t drive slam car doors too hard
32) You’ve turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood
specifically to stir paint with.
33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.

Look at me, I’m Web 2.0. That ribbon up there in the corner proves it. What I’m not? I’ll fight you.

Unfortunately 2.0 is just sooo 2005. This 2.0 Ribbon Generator is certainly a handy tool however. Fast and easy. I have no affiliation…just thought it was a nice little tool.

Is it just me or does anyone else miss cut and paste? And why can I not send text messages to multiple users? I am so dang sic…wait…heh…oh…I did NOT see you there. My bad. Don’t be mad. I was just kidding…you’re the ginchiest iPhone you know that! So round and smoothy. Let’s go get an ice cream cone.

30 days in a row went down in flames. Got the stomach flu Saturday and am just back to my computer today. Loser.

So…let’s get it going again here. What’s that you’re saying? Shut up and deliver the funny? Easy sailor…here you go…

Supercool:

I made a pact with myself…30 days of something on this blog in a row. It’s the only way you…my one reader…will keep coming back. Sure I could just text message you or send you an email but this is much more internetty. (my word don’t take it)

Ok…let’s get started. Look what I found! This is the craziest yo yoing I’ve ever seen. And that’s saying something too as I have seen literally 3 - 5 people with yo yo’s in my lifetime. So…I’m an expert and stuff.

I thought this was pretty funny…

So I just noticed something today…I likey the coffee. Specifically, espresso type coffees. I also have a bit of a sweet tooth. If I am in a Fivebux and ordering and there is nobody else around that I know I usually get something like a Peppermint Mocha or White Mocha. The kind of drink that many men think would be better suited for the ladies. However, if it’s my turn to order and I see someone I know I immediately go into macho mode and order something much less lady like. Something like a quad shot grande hold the water two pumps of steel wool. You know, something more manly. What’s up with my coffee peer pressure?